Clothing is a big issue for those of us who struggle with weight and weight loss. I remember going into a clothing store when I was about 35 or 36 years old. I had gained a fair amount of weight in the previous few years. I realized I could no longer fit into the pants that were a size 44 waist. I needed a size 46 waist.
Between 44 and 46, there is an invisible line you cross in men’s clothing when you go from large normal sizes to sizes for really overweight men. The pants are cut very differently. They look baggy and a lot less stylish than 44 and below. As I looked at my body and those pants, I said, “There is no way I am ever going to wear size 46 pants.” I began at that moment to get serious about weight loss.
The chances are that you’ve had your own version of the Size 46 pants story. Maybe you’ve seen an attractive garment and wanted to try it on but not been able to fit. Perhaps you had your heart set on a particular item of clothing, gone to the store to buy it, and the clerk says, “I don’t think we have that in your size.”
Those words hurt, don’t they? Don’t those kinds of comments make you feel terrible about yourself? Maybe you’ve put off buying attractive clothing until the mythical day when you lose weight. I know I hung onto pants that I fit into when I was in college for decades thinking that one day I’d be skinny enough again to fit into them. Every time I’d look at those skinny pants, they’d remind me that I wasn’t skinny anymore.
There are all these issues around clothing and buying ourselves new clothing. Maybe you’ve put off buying yourself nice new clothes until you’re skinny.
Let’s do some tapping around all these issues. Hopefully this will result in us feeling a lot better about ourselves and about our clothing choices.
First of all, I’d like you to imagine a piece of clothing you really want but can’t fit into. Think about the garment you want but can’t wear. Maybe you’d like to wear a certain kind of bathing suit but know it won’t fit or you won’t look good in it. Maybe there’s a certain style of dress or pants that you’d love to wear if only you had the figure for it.
Think about that garment now vividly. Imagine what it looks like. Imagine the texture of the fabric. Imagine yourself wearing it, and feel the feelings that come up when you do that. Get vividly in touch with those feelings.
Now give yourself a number on that scale from 0 to 10 with 0 being no emotional intensity and 10 being a high degree of emotional intensity. Amp up those feelings to as high a number as possible.
Now that you’re at a high number thinking about the garment, tap your karate chop point and say this out loud with me.
KC: Even though I can’t wear that, I deeply and completely accept myself. I can’t wear it now, and I’m still okay just the way I am.
EB: That garment.
SE: How I look wearing that.
UE: How I would feel buying that.
UN: I want to be able to wear that.
CH: I’d love to be able to wear that.
CB: If only I was skinny enough to wear that.
UA: But I’m not.
KC: I have to wear the same old clothes. I can’t wear the nice clothes I want. I can’t buy myself those nice clothes because I’m not skinny. I’ll never be able to buy those clothes. I am so sad I can’t buy those clothes. I’m so angry I can’t buy those clothes. Even though I’m sad and angry about those nice clothes, I still completely accept myself.
EB: Sad and angry about those nice clothes.
SE: Can’t buy them. Won’t fit into them.
UE: Would love to fit into those nice clothes.
UN: Cannot fit into them.
CH: They’re out of my reach.
CB: Because I am not skinny enough.
UA: May never be skinny enough.
KC: To get those nice clothes. May never be skinny enough to get what I really want.
EB: Those clothes.
SE: I’m vividly imagining those clothes, the way they feel.
UE: The way they look. The way they hang on me.
UN: The way they smell.
CH: The way they feel.
CB: I’m vividly imagining those nice clothes that I could have, that I could buy.
UA: If only I were skinny.
KC: And I love and accept myself whether or not I ever fit into those nice clothes. I am me. I am a good person. I try so hard. I deserve so much. I am such a good person with or without those clothes.
EB: Buy myself new clothes. Don’t buy myself new clothes. Love and accept myself.
SE: Just the way I am, with or without those new clothes.
UE: I accept myself with or without those new clothes.
UN: I’m acceptable.
CH: With or without those new clothes, I am lovable.
CB: Totally accept myself with or without those new clothes.
UA: New clothes.
KC: Me, my body, and whether or not I am ever skinny enough for those new clothes, I fully, deeply and completely accept myself.
The chances are good when you now think about those new clothes that you have a much lower level of emotional triggering. I’d also recommend you do some tapping on any events you had when you were young that had to do with new clothes. Most of us have had the experience, if we were chubby as children, of our parents commenting on us not fitting into our clothes or taking us out to buy clothes and the store clerk commenting on our size.
Think about all those events and tap on those as well. Give yourself a number and tap on each point while you vividly imagine the event and all the aspects of the event. Once you’ve tapped those all down to a low number, the chances are that you’ll feel neutral around clothes and just buy yourself appropriate things you like without the same intensive emotional charge attached to that clothing.
Please tap away on each of those issues. Love yourself, and let yourself off the hook for those strong feelings around clothing.