We’ve all had the experience of looking at a person in the newspaper, on TV or in the media, some celebrity or athlete, and comparing our body to theirs. In school, we couldn’t help but notice that we weren’t as thin as some people. We weren’t as smart as some people. We weren’t as musical as some people. We weren’t as capable as some people.
All of us have strengths and weaknesses. It’s part of being human, yet we tend to compare our worst characteristics with somebody else’s best characteristics. For example, someone else is a superb athlete. We compare our lack of athletic ability to their great athletic ability and find ourselves lacking.
We don’t think at the time to compare, perhaps, our scholastic ability to theirs. Perhaps we’re far better at our studies, but we compare ourselves only to their best characteristics and fail to take into account that we all have a mix of things we excel at and things we struggle with. It’s just part of the human condition.
Let’s now take that sensation, that worry, that observation that I don’t look like him or her and tap on it. I’d like you to think about someone you admire or envy for the way they look. Think of the person’s name, and imagine how you feel in contrast to this shiny example of physical perfection. Give yourself a number from 0 to 10. If you feel really wretched, that might be a 10, 9 or 8.
Now we’ll do some tapping to see if we can’t bring down that number. Tap on your karate chop point and say this out loud.
KC: Even though I don’t look like her or him, I accept myself the way I am.
EB: No, I don’t. I want to look like her.
SE: No way I can accept myself until I look like her.
UE: No way I can accept myself until I lose those pounds.
UN: No way I can accept myself.
CH: I’ve never accepted myself, and I never will.
CB: I am completely unacceptable.
UA: Until I look like her.
KC: I will never look like her. That is really a problem. I will never look like her no matter how hard I try.
EB: All my dieting, all my struggle, all my effort.
SE: Has been in vain because I will never look like her.
UE: I’ll never be good enough.
UN: I never have been good enough.
CH: Never will be good enough.
CB: Can never be good enough. Can never look like her.
UA: No matter how much I try.
KC: Look at her. I’m vividly imagining her now, and I will never look like that. I cannot accept that I will never look like that. I can never accept myself, and I fully accept never accepting myself. I accept that I will never accept myself. That’s okay.
EB: I can never accept myself, and that’s okay.
SE: I can never accept myself, and maybe I can accept that.
UE: I accept myself just the way I am.
UN: Even though I don’t look like her.
CH: I look like me.
CB: I look just like me.
UA: And I love and accept myself.
KC: Just the way I look. I am me. That is the way I look. That is me. And even though I don’t look like her, I love and accept myself. I have my own look. I have my own style. It is acceptable to me, and that’s all that counts. All that counts is that I love me and love the way I look even though I do not look like her.
EB: Don’t look like her. Never have looked like her. Never will look like her. Look like me.
SE: Don’t look like her. Impossible to look like her.
UE: Impossible standards.
UN: Look like me.
CH: Okay looking like me.
CB: Not okay looking like me.
UA: Okay looking like me.
KC: Not okay looking like me. I look like me. I don’t look like her, and that’s okay. I look like me, and I’m okay. I am a wonderful person just the way I am.
Take a breath. Think back to that person you idolized. Compare them to yourself again and see what your number is. The chances are good that it’s come way down. If you had a 7, 8, 9 or perhaps even 10 around your feelings when you would compare yourself to that person, you’re probably down to a low number right now. If not, tap on other ideas and beliefs you have around yourself and the gap between you and the other person.
Keep tapping until you feel good about yourself because you truly are a wonderful person. I know that you are a wonderful person. It doesn’t matter that you don’t look like her. You look like you, and that’s perfect, wonderful and the way it’s meant to be.