Week 8: Accepting the Unacceptable

Fibroclear Week 8: Accepting the Unacceptable

By now, you have probably made some links between your current illness and traumatic events in your past. Emotional upset about past events can worsen your symptoms and may even be the cause of your illness. There are parallels between severely traumatic events and fibromyalgia/CFS. Some traumas seem so horrendous that it may seem impossible to forgive or forget. Likewise, how can we make peace with such debilitating illnesses? In both cases, it is about “accepting the unacceptable,” as Gunilla Brattberg, MD, calls it. She notes that the emotional reaction to one’s illness is often worse than the symptoms of that illness. Accepting the unacceptable is vital to improving one’s quality of life if you are living with pain and fatigue. Rather than viewing the onset of these symptoms as a signal that your life is over, acceptance becomes possible when you regard your illness as the beginning of a journey of changing thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and behaviors for lasting improvement of your quality of life. Acceptance can reduce your suffering. People often equate acceptance of their symptoms with giving up. Acceptance is not the same as resignation, nor is it synonymous with passivity. The word acceptance means “to accept anything or anyone without restrictions.” This does not mean that you think the thing you are accepting is good, fair, or right. You do not have to like it to accept it. This is as true of past trauma as it is of current illness. In the case of your illness, you may find that acceptance is not a one-time event. Your choice to accept your situation will likely need to be made again and again.

The Role of EFT in Accepting the Unacceptable

Now that you have had some early success with EFT, you may be ready to use EFT on an “unacceptable,” unforgivable trauma from your past or on accepting your illness itself. You might be surprised at where EFT takes you. Part of acceptance of the unacceptable is accepting yourself. Accepting yourself as you are increases the likelihood of others doing the same. Acceptance of the unacceptable often requires forgiveness of and reconciliation with yourself and others. “Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice,” says Dr. Brattberg. Forgiveness and reconciliation free energy that was formerly bound to anger and bitterness. Avoiding unresolved feelings and memories can actually cause symptoms. People in pain often have strategies to avoid these feelings and memories. Avoidance creates stress and tension, which increases physical and psychological pain, which increases avoidance, and so the cycle is kept going. EFT can help you break the cycle of avoidance. When trauma goes untreated, it can sap your vital life energy. EFT provides a shortcut for clearing trauma and thus freeing the energy that you so desperately need if you suffer from fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue.

This Week’s EFT Success Story

In another story from the archives on EFTuniverse.com, EFT practitioner Mary Stafford, MEd, TFTdx, CPC, tells about a client’s relief from fibromyalgia pain: I have used EFT with many different physical conditions as well as pain with great success. The one that stands out in my memory is the client who had fibromyalgia for at least a year. She had tried many different therapies; she said the one that helped the most was acupuncture, but even that was not sufficient. She was using morphine and two other pain medicines for some relief. Considering that EFT and acupuncture use the same energy system, I thought it was worth a try. She told me that the day before she had had a massage of her arms, which gave no relief of the excruciating pain she was having there. She also said she felt she had let God down by being so ill that she could not do the work she was supposed to do (teach small children). After that broad hint, I asked her to tap the side of her hand and say, “I accept myself even though I have this disease.” Immediately, she had no pain in either arm! She was amazed, as you can imagine. We completed the EFT process and the remainder of her pain in her neck and shoulders also left her. I followed up with her the next week and she reported that her relief lasted only one to two hours at a time. She repeated the tapping as often as necessary during the day and if she woke in pain. This brought immediate relief every time. She was able to decrease the amount of pain meds she was taking and greatly enjoyed the control she had over her pain, which she had never had before.

Perhaps there is something that you too are not accepting about yourself or your illness. Tapping on it may liberate you, as it did Mary’s client!

Using EFT to Accept the Unacceptable

Think back to an event in your life when someone did something that you have never been able to forgive. What was your memory? Write it down in the space below. _______________________________ Before you start tapping, take a moment to assess your feelings as you remember this event. Use the 0 to 10 (0 = no discomfort and 10 = extreme discomfort) SUD scale. How strong is your emotional reaction to the memory right now? Give it a number, and write down that number. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 or 10 Also, identify a place in your body where you feel that emotion most strongly. It might be your forehead, your shoulders, or your heart. Write down the location in your body of this strong emotion.

So far, so good! Here’s your Setup Statement:

“Even though (name the memory), I deeply and completely accept myself.” Say this three times while tapping on the Karate Chop point on the side of your hand.

Now look at the illustration showing EFT’s 12 acupoints, and tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, focus on the problem you wrote down.

Keep doing additional rounds of EFT till your SUD level around this memory is a 2 or less.

A Second Helping of EFT

Now let’s do EFT again, but on a different problem Think about an aspect of your illness that you rage against and cannot accept. What is your aspect? Write it (be brief) on the paper. Assess your feelings using the 0 to 10 (0 = no discomfort and 10 = extreme discomfort) SUD scale. How strong is your emotional reaction to the memory right now? Give it a number, and write it down. 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 or 10 “Even though I’m angry about (name the problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.” Say this three times while tapping on the side of your hand.

Now tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, stay focused on your problem.

Keep doing additional rounds of EFT till your (0 = no discomfort and 10 = extreme discomfort) SUD level around this problem is a 2 or less.

A Final Round of EFT

You might still have some remaining (0 = no discomfort and 10 = extreme discomfort) SUD intensity, so for good measure, let’s try EFT again. “Even though I still have some remaining feelings about (the problem you wrote down), I deeply and completely accept myself.” Say this three times while tapping on the side of your hand.

Now tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, stay focused on your problem.

Measuring Your Results

Think about the problem again. Using the same scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being no emotional intensity, and 10 being the highest possible, write down the number below that represents your number: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 or 10 Congratulations! Your level of emotional intensity just went down by ___percent. (Divide your second number by your first number, then multiply your answer x 100.)

Tapping Away Other “Unforgivable” Events

Now that you know how to use EFT to “accept the unacceptable,” tap on other “unforgivable” events from your past. As usual, before you go to sleep each night, think about any upsetting incidents that occurred during the day, and tap them away. When you wake up, tap through the points three or four times before you even start your day. This will help balance your energy, and give you more resilience to face the day ahead.