Week 2: The Emotional Aspects

Fibroclear Week 2: The Emotional Aspects

In the past week, hopefully you’ve remembered to use EFT for pain in the mornings and evenings. You’ve also learned to measure your progress using the 0 to 10 scale, which we call the SUD (subjective units of distress) scale, short for subjective units of distress. When EFT is working, you can tell because your SUD (subjective units of distress) level goes down.

Research has also shown that when patients improve their stress levels, their physical symptoms improve too

You might have heard your doctor explain the relationship between stress, and fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. There is a strong association between high stress levels and these physical problems. Those with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue often have psychological challenges like anxiety, depression, and posttraumatic stress disorder, in addition to the physical ones like fatigue and pain.

Research has also shown that when patients improve their stress levels, their physical symptoms improve too. Psychological improvement can create fertile ground for physiological improvement. The reason for this is simple. If you saw a tiger in the bushes, you’d be afraid and your body would respond with a burst of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Your nervous system would gear up for fight or flight. This is a reasonable response to an objective threat.

The problem is that when we imagine a subjective threat, our body can’t tell the difference. It responds the same way to the paper tiger in your mind as to a real tiger. When we think negative thoughts and have negative emotional experiences, we stress our bodies just the way real objective threats do.

The Role of EFT in Emotional Trauma

EFT is very good at reducing fear. When you think of a situation that makes you feel bad, and then use EFT, you usually feel better. Many scientific studies have demonstrated this, including a study of fibromyalgia. After the fibromyalgia sufferers in the study had used EFT for a few weeks, their average levels of depression and anxiety symptoms were significantly reduced. That’s why it’s called “Emotional Freedom” Techniques. The emotions that used to bind you up simply don’t bother you anymore. This week, we’ll guide you in using EFT to reduce your emotional response to a distressing event.

Just like in Week 1, you’ll find tap-along videos below. Each one starts with the instructions on how you can use EFT yourself while watching. Research shows that most people who tap along experience relief from their symptoms, so please try this for yourself!

You will also find an audio program on tapping for pain, as well as a bonus recording of me working with a participant in this Fibroclear program. We’ll surprise you often during this course with bonuses you weren’t expecting! Many people who listen to this audio session have said they were in tears as they heard Mav’s story. Her breakthroughs could be your breakthroughs. So please listen and tap along with Mav and I.

This Week’s EFT Success Story

This week, we’re sharing another account from someone who’s learned to use EFT successfully. Our story is an abridged version of one written by Mhairi Alexander, and it’s drawn from the large collection of case histories on EFTuniverse.com. Mhairi used EFT with her husband, David, who had chronic fatigue as well as other symptoms. Here’s what he later wrote:

Mhairi provided the motivation for me to complete EFT exercises when I felt unable to. Part of this was due to the effects of chronic fatigue, and part of this was due to feeling overwhelmed by the volume of concerns and anxieties that arose when dealing with my past. It was a difficult and yet wonderful time. After one particularly upsetting reaction, I said to her, “You have given me back my childhood.” Her insight allowed me to tackle concerns I was not really aware of, for example, my preoccupation with doing things for others, but not for myself. This proved to be a fundamental turning point in dealing with my health, which has now shown great improvement. Such has been the change that having my health as a number-one priority has produced, that concerns about relationships, money, and career have all been put into perspective. I have spent a lot of time changing the “writing on my walls.”

We’ve now started using EFT with a small group of other people with chronic fatigue, and we’re particularly interested in the area of motivation and persistence, as this seems to be an issue with all of them.

Imagine being so successful at overcoming fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue that you begin sharing your successes with others! If it could happen for Mhairi and her husband, why not for you? The following account from EFT practitioner Clay LaPorte is one of those rare examples of a “one session wonder,” in which a client is able to clear a big block in just a single session, with lasting results.

Fibromyalgia Pain Gone After a Single Session

By Clay LaPorte

“We worked on one specific incident when her mother told her she had done something terrible to her teddy bear collection”

I have had my fair share of “one minute wonders” or as I like to call them, “one session wonders.” These wonders usually result in a cessation of adverse “emotional” reactions, which vastly improve my clients’ lives for the better. However, this particular one that I’d like to tell you about, for me, is extraordinarily different. It involved the cessation of adverse physical reactions, even when they weren’t specifically addressed during the session.

Christine is in her late fifties and she came to me for her 6 year bout with fibromyalgia. Her pain intensity for the fibromyalgia was only a 3 on this day because she said the weather was in her favor (the right amount of humidity and air pressure). Maybe so, maybe not, but right then I decided to completely skip working on the fibromyalgia pain and go strictly for one of the main core issues in her life. Even though she had several easily definable ones that I could have worked on, I went with the earliest one, as we are taught in EFT.

Surprise, surprise, it was her mother. From age 5 until today, whatever she does, it’s not good enough for her mother. Christine’s mother has never apologized for any wrong done to her and always makes her feel as though she is not good enough. Even though I earlier skipped working on the fibromyalgia symptoms, I did address the symptoms she was experiencing by just thinking about working on the “mom” issue. These were a tight throat, weak shaky hands and weak shaky legs. With several rounds of EFT, these decreased and finally ceased by the end of the session.

We worked on one specific incident when her mother told her she had done something terrible to her teddy bear collection. Here’s what happened:

They lived out in the country with very few neighbors. At age 5, Christine did not have any friends that came to her house. So, her collection of teddy bears became her beloved friends. One day, a woman came to visit her mother and brought her young daughter with her. Since Christine never had friends come over, she did not understand the concept of sharing toys. When she refused to share, her mother decided to teach her a lesson. After their company left, she took Christine aside and told her she had bagged up all her bears, took them outside, and set them on fire in their burn barrel. To her, mother had just “killed” her only friends. This had to be devastating to a 5 year old. Then, after letting her suffer for a few minutes, she told her she hadn’t really burned her bears, and hoped that she had learned her lesson well.

Several things happened here that we had to work on:

1. Mom had just “killed” her friends.

2. She was confused. (Mom never explained what sharing was, but punished her anyway.)

3. Her mother lied to her about burning the bears.

4. Her mother tricked her to teach her a lesson.

We addressed all these aspects, jumped around to a few other mom issues, and finally ended the session. But before we did, I followed Gary’s advice to always, always test the results. About halfway through the session I had her say this statement out loud and asked how true it sounded.

“My mother has never loved me the way I needed and wanted her too.”

Here is where I believe the turning point, and core issue, came into play in the session. I say this because she lost it right then and there and started sobbing. I immediately leaned over to her and started tapping on all her hand points to pull her out of it. This took only about 30 seconds to do. Obviously, she was at a 10 and we struck gold. So this is how I retested the above statement at the end of the session. I had her say the following statement, but I broke it down into 3 smaller segments so she couldn’t have time to contemplate it in its entirety. This way I could see what particular part of the statement might have raised her emotional intensity.

(1) ” My mother has never loved me the way I needed and wanted her to, (2) and if it never changes, (3) I’m alright with that.”

She was fine with that statement on all 3 accounts. During this entire session, we never once worked on the fibromyalgia or its pain. About one week later she called me and asked how long it takes for EFT to start working. My first thought was, “Oh no, it didn’t work at all.” So I asked what she meant by “start working.” She explained that the next morning after our session, ALL of her fibromyalgia pain was gone, or maybe at a rating of 1, and has not returned. She was sleeping better, was able to work more, less runny nose, and her IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) was mostly gone.

What Christine basically wanted to know was if this rapid cessation of physical symptoms was “normal”. Whew, I let out a sigh of relief. EFT has done it again! I told her everything was normal and to remember to tap for the first sign of any pain that may return as the days went by and not wait until she was in intense pain.

Follow up: There was one negative side effect of her fibromyalgia being gone. She now started doing the blame game for making herself have fibromyalgia for 6 years and all the pain and disruption in her life it has caused. Well, since the first session we have had 2 more. On the second one we cleaned up the self blame issue and some more unfinished business with her mom stuff.

On the third one we dealt with a huge issue concerning her son. Remember I said there were several big issues we could have dealt with, but went with the earliest one? This definitely was the right path to choose, but it is also essential that we finish what we start if we expect the results to hold. After 4 weeks her pain started to slowly return. I believe there are 2 reasons for this. First, she has been working her body very hard with her renewed strength and stamina. The things she told me she’s been doing would even make me have aches and pains. I feel that she is simply over doing it physically.

Second, there are still a few very big issues to deal with. We already tackled one concerning her son, but there is more to do. These issues could possibly have the same type of emotions tied to them as her mother issue, so when they get triggered, some of the pain returns. However, I’m thinking it may just be the “accumulative effect”. Too many years dealing with too many problems and her system is just plain worn out. Once these issues are resolved, I feel she will be completely over her fibromyalgia, once and for all.

Using EFT for an Emotional Experience

One of the features of EFT is that it doesn’t try and force you to think positive when you feel bad. EFT emphasizes acceptance. Remember the second half of the Setup Statement: “I deeply and completely accept myself.”

The first part of the Setup Statement focuses you on the problem. Try this right now. Think of an event that bothered you during the past 2 weeks. It should be a brief event, no more than 5 minutes long. Think of a person or a situation that made you feel bad. That’s the problem we’re now going to address with EFT.

Those around us often don’t understand how devastating the condition can be

An example of a problem might be that you were too exhausted to take care of the kids, and your husband became annoyed, and said that your problems are “all in your head.” Because fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue doesn’t have external symptoms, those around us often don’t understand how devastating the condition can be. So you might have had an experience like this sometime in the past two weeks. Or you might have had another problem. Whatever it is, give it a brief description. For the purpose of illustration, to show you how to construct your Setup Statement, we’ll use the example of the husband who says that your problems are all in your head.

So the first part of the Setup Statement is “Even though my husband said my problems are all in my head” We then combine it with the second part, which emphasizes self-acceptance: “I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Before Proceeding:

MEMORY: What was your memory? Write it (be brief) on a piece of paper.
INTENSITY: Before you start tapping, take a moment to assess your feelings as you remember this event. Use the 0 to 10 SUD (subjective units of distress) scale. How strong is your emotional reaction to the memory right now? Give it a number, and write that down as well.
BODY PART: Also, identify a place in your body where you feel that emotion most strongly. It might be your forehead, your shoulders, or your heart. Write down the location in your body of this strong emotion.

So far, so good! Here’s your Setup Statement:

“Even though (add the problem description from above), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Say this three times while tapping on the Karate Chop point on the side of your hand.

Now look at the illustration showing EFT’s 12 acupoints, and tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, focus on the problem you wrote down.

A Second Helping of EFT

Now let’s do EFT again, but with a slightly different Setup Statement. Most people experience a reduction in the intensity of the problem, so we’ll modify the Setup Statement accordingly.

“Even though I still have some strong feelings about (the problem you wrote down), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Say this three times while tapping on the side of your hand.

Now tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, stay focused on your problem.

A Final Round of EFT

You might still have some remaining SUD (subjective units of distress) intensity, so for good measure, let’s try EFT again.

“Even though I still have some remaining feelings about (the problem you wrote down), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Say this three times while tapping on the side of your hand.

Now tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, stay focused on your problem.

Measuring Your Results

Think about the problem again, and tune in to your (the body part you wrote down). Using the same scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being no emotional intensity, and 10 being the highest possible, write down your new SUD (subjective units of distress) number: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 or 10

Congratulations! You wrote down your first SUD (subjective units of distress) number only a few minutes ago. Your level of emotional intensity just went down by (your 2nd number divided by your first number and multiply the answer x 100) percent.

Examples:
If my first number was 8 and my second number was 2 it would be this:
2 divided by 8 = .25
.25 x 100 = 25%

If my first number was 9 and my second number was 5 it would be this:
5 divided by 9 = 0.55
.55 x 100 = 55%

Processing Your Emotions Every Day

From now on, you have a tool that can help you deal with the problems and upsets of life. This week, use EFT whenever you have an emotional issue. When people say and do things that upset you, don’t hold on to those negative experiences. Give them a SUD (subjective units of distress) score, and do EFT till the emotional intensity reduces.

You can do this right after something upsets you, or even during the event. Imagine, for instance, you’re on the phone having a difficult conversation. Tap while you’re talking. You’ll find it helps make the emotions more manageable.

Each evening, before you go to sleep, think about any upsetting incidents that occurred during the day, and tap them away. When you wake up, tap through the points three or four times before you even start your day. This will help balance your energy, and give you more resilience to face the day ahead.

TAP ALONG VIDEO TOPICS

Fear of Being Different, Fear of Being Myself
I’m being punished even though I did nothing wrong

TAP ALONG VIDEO TOPICS

Seven years of constant pain after failed surgery
A “Purely Physiological Problem”
Self-Acceptance, Bad Decisions, Weight Gain, Baffling the Conscious Mind

AUDIO

Bonus #1: How Fibromyalgia is a Solution to a Life Problem for Mary

During this session, I work with Mary.

We quickly uncover “secondary gain” ways in which her fibromyalgia represents a solution to a big recurring problem with boundaries in her personal and professional life.
She learns to find other solutions that don’t involve suffering.
She also begins focusing on a positive future, and creating a vision board of what that might look like.