Week 4: EFT For Hopelessness and Helplessness

In last week’s lesson, we covered using present-day emotions to lead us back to childhood memories that need healing. In this lesson, we apply EFT directly to the frustration and fears that often arise with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Living with the limitations that these chronic illnesses impose is highly frustrating. It can raise feelings of hopelessness about the future and helplessness in the face of medical needs and procedures. Catastrophizing (disaster mentality) can result as we become increasingly pessimistic about the future and our prognosis. Unchecked, this disaster mentality can lead to curtailing our physical movement and effort more than we need to as we catastrophize the pain that could result, increasing our sense of hopelessness and helplessness.

A study by Gunilla Brattberg, MD, showed that EFT can reduce anxiety and “pain catastrophizing measures” (helplessness, rumination, and magnification) in people with fibromyalgia. Dr. Brattberg notes that your interpretation of your condition affects the amount of psychological stress you experience. A pessimistic view of your life and symptoms can lead you to see any unplanned change as a disaster. This “pain catastrophizing” can make you afraid of physical movement and leave you hyper-alert to your symptoms, which in turn has a negative impact on your physical and social activities and on your quality of life. By directly addressing helplessness and hopelessness, EFT can help prevent these negative consequences.

I was so touched and moved by the story of Teresa, the Fibroclear participant I work with on this week’s bonus audio. She tells her story at the beginning of this coaching session. She was abused when she was 7 years old, has high levels of anxiety, anger and shame.

She says she is so fatigued every morning that “it takes me 2 hours just to work up the energy to start my day.” She’s also afraid of conflict with others and stuffs her anger; she’s ashamed that she doesn’t have the courage to speak up for herself.

Hear how all that heavy energy lifts as we work together on releasing her body sensations. Unlike typical EFT sessions, we work on an adult event because her childhood events are too intense to handle at first.

I also use some techniques from Transpersonal Psychology with Teresa, helping her build up the resources to face her past. Again, this positive tapping is not typical EFT procedure but for such deep trauma it’s very useful.

Finally, armed with all these new resources, we go back in time to her 7 year old self, full of healing energy.

By the end of the call, she’s laughing, the tightness in her throat has gone from an 8 to a 0, and I give her homework to go seek out an opportunity to assert herself during the coming week! You will be inspired as you tap along with her.

EFT Can Help Reduce Hopelessness and Helplessness

As with fear, EFT is highly effective at reducing hopelessness and helplessness. When you tap through the EFT points while “tapping into” your feelings of hopelessness or helplessness, those feelings lower in intensity or disappear altogether. When you keep tapping to bring the intensity to a 0 and do further rounds every time those feelings come up from then on, you may soon find that you have tapped them away and may not even remember that you used to feel helpless or hopeless!

First, here’s a success story. Then we’ll show you how to use EFT to decrease your sense of hopelessness and helplessness.

Using EFT for Helplessness and Hopelessness

Think of a time during the past week or two when you were feeling helpless or hopeless about your situation, or catastrophizing your future, as in “It will always be like this,” or “I’m going to get worse and worse until I won’t be able to do anything at all.”

Now think of a specific event from your childhood during which you felt that way. If you can’t think of a childhood event, it’s OK to use an event from your adult life. Perhaps you wanted to join your school’s soccer team when you were 7 years old. You practiced and practiced, but when the day came for you to try out for the team, the coach didn’t choose you. When you got home and told your father, he said, “You’re just hopeless.” You felt crushed, not just about soccer, but about your life.

What was your memory? Write it (be brief) in the space below:

_______________________________

Before you start tapping, take a moment to assess your feelings as you remember this event. Use the 0 to 10 SUD (subjective units of distress) scale. How strong is your emotional reaction to the memory right now? Give it a number, and write down that number using the scale below.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Also, identify a place in your body where you feel that emotion most strongly. It might be your forehead, your shoulders, or your heart. Write down the location in your body of this strong emotion:

_______________________________

So far, so good! Here’s your Setup Statement:

“Even though (name the problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Say this three times while tapping on the Karate Chop point on the side of your hand.

Now look at the illustration showing EFT’s 12 acupoints, and tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, focus on the problem.

A Second Helping of EFT

Now let’s do EFT again, but with a slightly different Setup Statement. Most people experience a reduction in the intensity of the problem, so we’ll modify the Setup Statement accordingly.

“Even though I still have some strong feelings about (name the problem, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Say this three times while tapping on the side of your hand.

Now tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, stay focused on your problem.

If you’re at a low number for your original incident, move on to another one. Perhaps you’re at a 1 around the soccer incident. Pick another with a similar emotional signature.

A Final Round of EFT

You might still have some remaining SUD (subjective units of distress) intensity, so for good measure, let’s try EFT again. If you’ve cleared your first and second memory, pick a new one.

“Even though I still have feelings about (the problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Say this three times while tapping on the side of your hand.

Now tap lightly 7 to 10 times with two fingertips on each point. While tapping, stay focused on your problem.

Measuring Your Results

Think about the problem again, and tune in to your body part. Using the same scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being no emotional intensity, and 10 being the highest possible, write down the number below that represents your number:

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 or 10

Congratulations! You wrote down your first number only a few minutes ago. Your level of emotional intensity just went down by a significant percentage in a very short time.

Use EFT Every Time You Feel Helpless or Hopeless

Now you have a tool to help you every time you feel helpless or hopeless or begin to catastrophize your illness. This week, use EFT whenever you feel these emotions or find yourself slipping into disaster mentality. Give the emotion a SUD (subjective units of distress) score, and do EFT till its intensity reduces.

Each evening, before you go to sleep, think about any events of helplessness or hopelessness that occurred during the day, and tap them away. When you wake up, tap through the points three or four times before you even start your day. This will help balance your energy, and give you more resilience to face the day ahead.